Legend has it that Johnny Appleseed traveled the American countryside spreading apple seeds randomly, everywhere he went.

In fact, according to Wikipedia, he planted nurseries rather than orchards, built fences around them to protect them from livestock, left the nurseries in the care of a neighbor who sold trees on shares, and returned every year or two to tend the nursery.

Many people’s business networking activities can be a lot like randomly spreading those apple seeds. Some might grow but most likely left to their own, they will fail to develop and eventually die off.

Relationships need to be nurtured. Often the word cultivated is used to describe what needs to take place for a relationship to grow. Both words are really describing an active interest, desire and taking action oriented steps to develop a relationship with another individual.

So how does one cultivate a relationship? I have some cynical colleagues who would say that would treat them the same way as you would cultivate mushrooms. You keep them in the dark and feed them BS [male cow manure.] I would suspect that they have few quality connections. I certainly wouldn’t want to be connected to them with that attitude.

Let’s leave the agriculture analogy for a while and go to back to the question of how does one cultivate a relationship?

Sound familiar?

“Do your hands start sweating and your legs shake with the thought of having to not only attend a business networking session but actually talk to people?”

“Do you feel paralyzed by the fear of rejection when you are at a business networking event?

“Would you rather have a root canal than attend a business networking event?

“Would you rather send an e-mail to a business lead than meet them in person?”

Well if any of these apply … you may be shy!

“Get over it!” That’s what our extroverted friends would say. “Just do what we do!”

Life isn’t that simple. We aren’t all extroverts and it would probably be a noisy world if we were. Being shy isn’t a personal defect.

You aren’t the only one out there, even if it feels like it sometimes. The world is full of shy people and that doesn’t prevent you from being an effective networker and reaping the benefits that networking can bring to your business.

Shyness can be defined as a reticence and self-consciousness, not just in stressful social situations but over all.

I recently noticed the often used saying “You Get Back What You Give” written in large letters on a roadside display board at a local church. Perhaps they are stating the obvious but then one’s base personality of being an optimist or a pessimist might come into play. Do you see the world as one of opportunity or as one of danger and threats?

If you are a believer in the law of attraction you have likely also heard the sayings “you reap what you sew” or “what you think about comes about.” Dr. Ivan Meisner, Founder of BNI describes this as the “Givers Gain” principal. The law of reciprocity says that if you provide a service or favour for another they will likely feel obligated to return the favour. I have read somewhere that it creates a tension in the individual who has received a favour to the extent that they feel a discomfort until they have returned the favour and evened the score. This may be at a subconscious level and they wouldn’t even be aware of why they are doing it. 

 Become a Thought Leader: Power Networking Tips & Techniques

Wikipedia defines a thought leader as being an individual or firm recognized as an authority in a specialized field and whose expertise is sought and often rewarded.

Would being recognized as a leader in your field or in your business make a difference to your bottom line? Is it possible for mere mortals, average people like you and I, to become thought leaders?