Power Networking Blog

Rae Stonehouse

Rae Stonehouse

Serendipidty isn't a networking plan.I’ve often heard it said in reference to “self-help” books … “If you get only one gem or a useful tip from a book it makes all of your reading time worthwhile.” While that may be true, it can have you spending a lot of time with your nose in a book.

The same principal can be applied … inefficiently … to your networking activities … “One contact can make a world of difference in your business …” In essence you are leaving your success to serendipity.

Serendipity, or leaving everything to chance, while awe-inspiring when it works, is not something that you can control or count on.

So Whats Your Story?“Nice day eh?”

“To bad about the Canucks!”

“Isn’t this weather something?”

We have heard them all before … meaningless comments that are more likely to end a conversation than to advance it.

For the many people that we encounter during our daily travels perhaps this is all that is needed. If we had long drawn out conversations with everyone, we likely wouldn’t accomplish everything that we need to in a day.

Johnny Appleseed knew what he was doing ...Legend has it that Johnny Appleseed traveled the American countryside spreading apple seeds randomly, everywhere he went.

In fact, according to Wikipedia, he planted nurseries rather than orchards, built fences around them to protect them from livestock, left the nurseries in the care of a neighbor who sold trees on shares, and returned every year or two to tend the nursery.

Many people’s business networking activities can be a lot like randomly spreading those apple seeds. Some might grow but most likely left to their own, they will fail to develop and eventually die off.

Relationships need to be nurtured. Often the word cultivated is used to describe what needs to take place for a relationship to grow. Both words are really describing an active interest, desire and taking action oriented steps to develop a relationship with another individual.

So how does one cultivate a relationship? I have some cynical colleagues who would say that would treat them the same way as you would cultivate mushrooms. You keep them in the dark and feed them BS [male cow manure.] I would suspect that they have few quality connections. I certainly wouldn’t want to be connected to them with that attitude.

Let’s leave the agriculture analogy for a while and go to back to the question of how does one cultivate a relationship?

Too Shy to Network?Sound familiar?

“Do your hands start sweating and your legs shake with the thought of having to not only attend a business networking session but actually talk to people?”

“Do you feel paralyzed by the fear of rejection when you are at a business networking event?

“Would you rather have a root canal than attend a business networking event?

“Would you rather send an e-mail to a business lead than meet them in person?”

Well if any of these apply … you may be shy!

“Get over it!” That’s what our extroverted friends would say. “Just do what we do!”

Life isn’t that simple. We aren’t all extroverts and it would probably be a noisy world if we were. Being shy isn’t a personal defect.

You aren’t the only one out there, even if it feels like it sometimes. The world is full of shy people and that doesn’t prevent you from being an effective networker and reaping the benefits that networking can bring to your business.

Shyness can be defined as a reticence and self-consciousness, not just in stressful social situations but over all.

You get back what you give ...I recently noticed the often used saying “You Get Back What You Give” written in large letters on a roadside display board at a local church. Perhaps they are stating the obvious but then one’s base personality of being an optimist or a pessimist might come into play. Do you see the world as one of opportunity or as one of danger and threats?

If you are a believer in the law of attraction you have likely also heard the sayings “you reap what you sew” or “what you think about comes about.” Dr. Ivan Meisner, Founder of BNI describes this as the “Givers Gain” principal. The law of reciprocity says that if you provide a service or favour for another they will likely feel obligated to return the favour. I have read somewhere that it creates a tension in the individual who has received a favour to the extent that they feel a discomfort until they have returned the favour and evened the score. This may be at a subconscious level and they wouldn’t even be aware of why they are doing it. 

Become a thought leader 

 Become a Thought Leader: Power Networking Tips & Techniques

Wikipedia defines a thought leader as being an individual or firm recognized as an authority in a specialized field and whose expertise is sought and often rewarded.

Would being recognized as a leader in your field or in your business make a difference to your bottom line? Is it possible for mere mortals, average people like you and I, to become thought leaders?

Be the Red CarAt a recent networking event I made comment to a woman that since having met her within the past year I was starting to see her at a lot of different events. She replied “Yeah me to. You are the red car!”

I immediately recognized the red car reference from the Law of Attraction. The idea being that if you were to buy a red car or even were thinking about buying one, then you would start noticing red cars everywhere. The Universe recreates itself for you. Up until that point red cars were not in your range of focus.

Friday, 05 August 2016 08:11

Power Networking Secret Revealed!

Power Networking handshakeOkay, if you are thinking that is a pretty bold statement to make, I would agree with you.

Any time that you see the words “secret” and “revealed” together in the same sentence, I would advise caution. It is usually followed by a request for payment for the content of the secret to be revealed to you. I am going to reveal the secret to you for free, after all, it was given to me at no charge.

The secret to being a power networker is … [drum roll please] ACTASIF. Say what?

Simply put, to be a power networker i.e. one who is effective in their networking activities, act as if you already are successful. You may find it somewhat anticlimactic to hear this one word secret if you haven’t heard the expression before. Another way of saying it would be “fake it until you make it.” Or with a bit of a stretch it could be “mind over matter.”

Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly! by Rae StonehouseThe following is an excerpt from Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly! written by Rae Stonehouse aka the “Shy Guy.”


As this is a book on networking for shy people, I’m assuming that you experience shyness to a certain degree. There isn’t a standard measurement that applies to everyone. We all experience it in a different way. What might intimidate me may not cause any distress to you at all.

For some people it is the large groups of people that cause their anxiety. For others, it can be the inevitable 1 to 1 conversation, where they fear that they may appear to be stupid.

For me, I find the approaching of somebody that I don’t know to be challenging. I would suspect that I have a deep-seated fear of rejection that triggers my anxiety. Yet, I have developed an advanced skill at public speaking, an area that many would find to be even more stressful.

Thursday, 04 August 2016 07:49

How High Does Your Elevator Go?

Couple Shaking HandsHow High Does Your Elevator Go?

  • 30 seconds? 60 seconds… 10 minutes?
  • Different buildings?

Note: this article was written pre-Covis 19. I like the saying “this isn’t forever… this is for now.” Things will return to normal soon.

The following is an excerpt from Power Networking for Shy People: How to Network Like a Pro by Rae Stonehouse.

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