Power Networking Blog

Monday, 09 October 2017 08:25

How do you become confident if you are a very shy person?

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You ask a short simple question that requires a complex answer to do it justice.

It’s far too easy for people that don’t experience being shy and quiet to say ‘just stop doing it.’

Life doesn’t work that way.

Being shy and quiet is merely a manifestation of having a deficit of social skills and a lack of self-confidence in the area of socializing.

If you experience severe anxiety over the thought of getting out there and socializing, it would be a different matter.

Being shy and quiet is a temporary state. You can change it.

The first step of course is being open to making changes in your life. Learning to socialize better does require socializing more.

It can be helpful to go to social events with a more outgoing person. They can introduce you to people and you might be able to emulate the skills that they possess when it comes to socializing.

Think of improving your social skills as a series of incremental steps. Each step that you take should be evaluated and adjusted as needed.

I would suggest creating your own plan for socialization. It could be something as simple as talking to a stranger at the bus stop or while in line at a store.

It could be in participating in a 1 to 1 conversation at a networking session when somebody asks you a question. It could work up to your initiating the conversation.

One cure for being quiet, is actually having something to say. It can be helpful to be up-to-date on what is happening in your community or even the larger picture of your country.

As well as speaking or talking about a topic you know about, it can be equally as valuable in being a good listener. Asking questions to a person who is telling you a story can make you a great conversationalist in the eyes of the story-teller.

Assuming you are over the age of 18, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the value of joining a Toastmasters club in your community. As a member you will help develop your communication skills, which in turn develops your self-confidence. It can be a great way to overcome your quiet, shy ways. It has worked for me.

Question originally answered on Quora.com

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