Rae Stonehouse

Rae Stonehouse

Author Bio:

Rae A. Stonehouse is a Canadian born author & speaker. His professional career as a Registered Nurse working predominantly in psychiatry/mental health, has spanned four decades.

Rae has embraced the principal of CANI (Constant and Never-ending Improvement) as promoted by thought leaders such as Tony Robbins and brings that philosophy to each of his publications and presentations.

Rae has dedicated the latter segment of his journey through life to overcoming his personal inhibitions. As a 20+ year member of Toastmasters International he has systematically built his self-confidence and communicating ability. He is passionate about sharing his lessons with his readers and listeners. His publications thus far are of the self-help, self-improvement genre and systematically offer valuable sage advice on a specific topic.

His writing style can be described as being conversational. As an author Rae strives to have a one-to-one conversation with each of his readers, very much like having your own personal self-development coach. Rae is known for having a wry sense of humour that features in his publications.

Author of Self-Help Downloadable E-Books:

Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

PROtect Yourself! Empowering Tips & Techniques for Personal Safety: A Practical Violence Prevention Manual for Healthcare Workers.

E=Emcee SquaredTips & Techniques to Becoming a Dynamic Master of Ceremonies.

Power of Promotion: On-line Marketing for Toastmasters Club Growth

 

Phone Rae 250-451-6564 or info@raestonehouse.com

Rae’s social … are you?

Twitter: http://twitter.com/RaeStonehouse

Linkedin? Rae is http://www.linkedin.com/in/raestonehouse

Copyright 2016 Rae Stonehouse. The above document may be freely copied and distributed as long as the author’s name and contact info remain attached.

To learn more about Rae A. Stonehouse, visit the Wonderful World of Rae Stonehouse at http://raestonehouse.com.

Excerpt from Power Networking for Shy People by Rae StonehouseThe following is an excerpt from the book Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving From Shy to Sly! available as a downloadable e-book.

~~~~~~

Is Your Net Working? Too Shy To Network?

Sound familiar? 

  • “Do your hands start sweating and your legs shake with the thought of having to not only attend a business networking session but actually talk to people?”
  • “Do you feel paralyzed by the fear of rejection when you are at a business networking event?
  • “Would you rather have a root canal than attend a business networking event?
  • “Would you rather send an e-mail to a business lead than meet them in person?”

Well if any of these apply … you may be shy!  

 “Get over it!” That’s what our extroverted friends would say. “Just do what we do!”

 Life isn’t that simple. We aren’t all extroverts and it would probably be a noisy world if we were.  Being shy isn’t a personal defect.

 You aren’t the only one out there, even if it feels like it sometimes. The world is full of shy people and that doesn’t prevent you from being an effective networker and reaping the benefits that networking can bring to your business.

Shyness can be defined as a reticence and self-consciousness, not just in stressful social situations but over-all.

Studies in shyness back in 1972 at Stanford University’s Shyness Clinic indicated that 40% of Americans considered themselves to be shy. Nowadays, closer to 50% are likely to say that they are shy. You would think that with all of the advancements in modern sciences and the humanities that we would become more outgoing. Perhaps all those advances are what are causing us to become shyer.

It has been said that it started with ATMs and Walkmans. We are no longer obligated to stand in line at our financial institutions to do our banking. We can do it with a machine. The opportunity to talk to your neighbour while standing in line is lost as well as small talk with the teller. Grocery stores and many other ones now have self-checkouts. No need to interact with a check-out clerk anymore. Walkmans allowed us to walk and listen to our music, for our ears only, a great way to escape unwanted conversations. The Walkman developed into MP3 players and smart phones that while getting smaller in size have offered us more ways to escape the real world.

The traditional family is no longer traditional. The days where the father went to work, the mother stayed home and the children went to school, all to come home at the end of the day to share a meal and their adventures of the day only exists in reruns of Leave it to Beaver. Traditional meals were replaced by TV dinners, then microwaveable ones. Fast food has become even faster and arguably not even food anymore. The opportunity to develop one’s communication and conversing skills around the family dinner table may be lost forever.

I believe that you can place the condition of shyness on a continuum. On one end you would have an individual who is painfully shy. The mere thought of having to go to a networking event and conversing with people could be enough to cause them to have a panic attack. Any situation where one feels that they are likely to die is to be avoided at all costs.

At the other end of continuum would be someone who experiences some mild apprehension about participating in networking events. They feel the apprehension but go ahead and do it anyways.

So how do we move upwards on the continuum to the point where we are less apprehensive about meeting and socializing with people, even to the point of enjoying it?

As a registered nurse working most of my career in mental health I realize that there will be some individuals that will only be able to move forward by taking an antianxiety medication such as lorazepam to reduce their anxiety. This is only recommended for those that have severe difficulty and only for short term. Despite what some physicians will say, these medications are only to be used for short durations. Coming off of the medication can be as stressful for the person as the situation that the medication was taken for in the first place.

I believe that the secret to becoming more social i.e. moving away from shy is a cognitive behavioural one combined with skill development. There are a few clinical modalities that might be of use. Some might say that it is not important to know why you are shy or what causes your symptoms. “Forget about it, move forward, do it anyways!” A Reality Therapy approach might be “You are shy because you choose to be. What are you going to do to change it and become more social?”

I’m a proponent of the Solutions Focussed Method combined with education and experience.

There are a lot of parallels with the fear of public speaking and shyness in social situations. Over the past 20 years I have been honing my public speaking skills by studying public speaking as a member of Toastmasters. Both within my club with fellow members and out in the public I regularly challenge myself by delivering presentations and speeches.

Darren Lacroix, the 2001 World Champion of Public Speaking describes the secret to becoming a better public speaker as being “Stage time, stage time, stage time.” I believe that the secret to becoming less shy and more self-confident is similar. You need to face your fear of networking by getting out there and doing it, over and over again.

Within the Toastmasters program we develop our skills by continually moving forward in our educational program and raising the bar as they say in increasing the challenges that we face. The more that we speak in public, the more that we desensitize ourselves and reduce the power that anxiety has over us. The Toastmaster’s program also offers constructive feedback as a way to maximize our self-development.

An overall plan to reduce shyness and increase self-confidence would be wise to include joining Toastmasters. Membership will provide you plenty of opportunities to both develop your communication and leadership skills but also plenty of opportunities to network in social situations.

Research the topic of business networking. You will find that while there is lots written about the subject, finding practical tips and techniques can be challenging to find.

Look for networking events in your community. Don’t expect to be a power networker from the beginning. As they say you can’t expect to run before you can walk. Learn what you can about the organization facilitating the event. What type of people attend the events? Is it purely social in nature or are people expecting to network for business opportunities?

If you are shy and it is important that you network, accompany a friend to the next business networking event, preferably someone who is a little more outgoing than you are. Ask them to introduce you to some people that they know that may be of benefit for you to meet.

As I said in the introduction, if almost 50% of people are saying that they are shy, then odds are there will be a high number of shy people at any event. You won’t be alone!


Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly! View it on your Kindle or other handheld mobile device.

Download now as an e-book. Only $9.13 USD.

 

Wondering what's in the book? Click here to view the Table of Contents.  

Tuesday, 05 July 2016 19:08

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

PNSP Book Cover With BorderForeword:

Introduction:

A poem about change

Overview:

Networking is:

Networking isn’t:

Phases of Networking

Pre Networking Phase

Technology Revisited

Who are you?

Personal Branding:

What do you stand for?

Your USP:

Are you Linkedin?

Your personal marketing agency:

Parts of the Profile:

It can be your personal Research Department:

Blow your own horn!

Reach out and Link somebody.

Send messages out:

Systematize responding to new connections.

Create a database of contacts and contact info:

Participate in Groups:

How high does your elevator go?

How High Does Your Elevator Go?

Developing Your Elevator Pitch:

Describe yourself as a solution to a problem:

Your pitch needs to address the five Ws.

Tell an anecdote: (for longer pitches)

Start a dialogue:

Elevator Pitch Template (30 seconds)

It’s all about you!

Questions that you will answer:

Questions that you won’t answer:

Your Questions Toolbox:

Technology Revisited

Your e-mail signature file:

Your personal domain name:

Your voice mail message:

Live Face-to-Face Networking Phase

Types of Pitching Opportunities:

Your Elevator has Arrived: What do you talk about?

Coffee anyone?

Who’s Next?

Dress for success:

Business Card Presentation & Etiquette:

Wear a Name Tag:

Whole lotta shaking going on.

Maintaining Eye Contact

Obstacles to Communicating/Networking: Close Encounters of the Shy Kind

Networking Skills Self-Assessment

Post Networking Phase (After the dance)

Follow-up is Everything!

Research the person on Google & Linkedin/Knowledge is Power!

Coffee’s Ready!

Show up a few minutes early

Don’t sell … learn!

Look for common areas of interest

How can you help the other person?

An Alternative to Large Networking Meetings - A Planned Approach:

Top Characteristics of Successful Networkers derived from BNI.

Types of Networkers (derived from BNI)

Common Fears or Barriers Experienced by Shy Networkers

Forgetting a Person’s Name when they walk up to greet you:

Asking for Help:

Nothing to Give Back:

Tongue-tied:

Fear of Rejection:

Being Nervous About Being Nervous:

What about liquid courage?

I would like to introduce …

Shaking hands upon meeting:

Introducing peers to each other:

Introducing a Superior to a Subordinate:

Introducing a customer to people in your business:

Introducing Women:

Introducing Older People:

Top 15 Networking No-No’s

The Secret to Being a Power Networker Revealed!

Why People Resist Networking

Top Four Reasons that Business Owners Resist Networking:

Consider Joining a Business Networking/Referral Group

Before Joining:

Strategies to Get the Most out of your Business Networking/Referral Group

Find a Networking Mentor

Even More Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

Is your net working? No, really is it?

Is Your Net Working? Too Shy To Network?

Is Your Net Working? So What’s Your Story?

Is Your Net Working? Close Encounters of the Networking Kind

Is Your Net Working? Name Dropping for Fun & Profit

Is Your Net Working? Finding Common Interests

Is Your Net Working? Serendipity Isn’t a Plan!

Is Your Net Working? Cyber Bullying Prevention Strategies

Author’s Biography:

 

 

Click here to read an excerpt from Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

 

 

Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly! View it on your Kindle or other handheld mobile device.

Download now as an e-book. Only $9.13 USD.

 

Tuesday, 05 July 2016 18:33

Home

Over 40 % of North Americans describe

themselves as being shy.

Would you?

PNSP Book Cover With Border

 

 

 

 

Sound familiar? 

  • Do your hands start sweating and your legs shake with the thought of having to not only attend a business networking session but ... actually talk to people ?
  • Do you feel paralyzed by the fear of rejection when you are at a business networking event?
  • Would you rather have a root canal than attend a business networking event?
  • Would you rather send an e-mail to a business lead than meet them in person and actually talk to them face to face? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well if any of these apply … you may be shy!

 “Get over it!” That’s what our extroverted friends would say. “Just do what we do!”

 Life isn’t that simple. We aren’t all extroverts and it would probably be a noisy world if we were.

 

Being shy isn’t a personal defect.

 

You aren’t the only one out there, even if it feels like it sometimes. The world is full of shy people and that doesn’t prevent you from being an effective networker and reaping the benefits that networking can bring to your business.

 

If there was an easy to use program or manual that covered the

fundamentals of networking would you purchase it?

 

Of course you would. So would I, however when I went looking for one I found those on the market to be too academic. They didn’t seem to apply to me or the networking situations that I attended. And they didn’t address my shyness issues. Yes, I am shy too. In fact I call myself “The Shy Guy” at times. I couldn’t find what I needed so I researched effective networking techniques and wrote my own book.

 

Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

View it on your Kindle or other handheld mobile device.

Download now as an e-book. Only $9.13 USD.

 

 

Rae StonehouseRae knows what it is like to be shy.

He knows how avoidance & denial can be a good friend.

He knows how uncomfortable it can be to attend a networking event and not know a single person.

He also got sick and tired of his inhibitions getting in the way of opportunities and decided to do something about it.

So he wrote Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

This is a must have book for those who want practical, proven tips & techniques on how to network effectively.

 

 

 

What will you get when you purchase & download

Power Networking for Shy People:

Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly?

 

Golden checkmark 15You will discover proven strategies to reduce your fear [that’s what shyness really is] that will help you become an effective, power networker.

 

Golden checkmark 15You will learn practical tips to strengthen the networking skills that you already have.

 

 

Golden checkmark 15You will discover easy to use techniques that will take you from shy to sly.

 

 

Golden checkmark 15You will discover the three phases of networking and how you can use each of them to your advantage.

 

 

Golden checkmark 15You will learn about common fears or barriers that shy networkers often experience and how to overcome them.

 

 

The program manual is downloaded as an e-file that you can either save on your computer or view on your Kindle or other handheld mobile device. 

 

I’m not really shy. Will this book be of any use to me?

 

This program manual explores the fundamentals of relationship networking. If you don’t have the added challenge of being shy, you will likely find it easier to use the tips & techniques to strengthen the networking and relationship building skills that you already have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Click here to read an excerpt from Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

 

Have you been out of work for a while and are re-entering the workforce?

 

Are jobs & opportunities jumping out at you? Probably not. It’s a good time to hone your networking & relationship building skills and Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly! can help maximise your job hunting efforts.

 

Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly! Offers easy to do strategies to become your own personal marketing agency which can make that hidden job market that we hear so much about, accessible.

 

 

Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly! by Rae Stonehouse. Available as a downloadable e-book. Power Networking for Shy People: Tips & Techniques for Moving from Shy to Sly!

 

 

View it on your Kindle or other handheld mobile device.

 

Download now as an e-book. Only $9.13 USD.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wondering what's in the book? Click here to view the Table of Contents.